Guide for foreigners attending the Midsummer celebrations in Finland.
Wake up in the morning and wonder who the fuck is still playing music outside. No one is. Remember to respect your neighbours and make sure they hear the same tunes you do 24/7.
When you drink three days in a row you have to breathe for a second time to time. This is Joni taking his moment. White Trash is not a joke. The more dirty, drunk and irritating the better. Finnish men do not walk. Jaloviina is the #1 liqour of Finnish summer. Men and women both enjoy the fresh taste of Jaloviina. It’s the fountain of Youth.
Around ten men drown every year in Finnish midsummer parties for no good reason. Liqour, sauna, boat and immortality is their destiny. Hangover is not an excuse for anything. It just shows how weak you are in life. During the midsummer weekend the average Finn spends more than ten hours in the sauna. 100+ celsius heat for several hours every night washes the dust away and wakes you up for the night.
Nudity is a big part of the Finnish midsummer party. Just remember that your genitals are not used to see the sun and can burn easily. Finns collect random stuff during the winter for their midsummer bonfire. Huge bonfire keeps all the bad spirits away. The sun does not set here in the northern atmosphere at midsummer.
Too big a fire is a classic move during the night. Burn baby burn.